"If you could have any super power, what would it be?"
And everyone manages to answer the same damn things all the time.
- I wanna be invisible
- I wanna fly
- I wanna teleport
- I wanna walk through walls
- I wanna control time
ZzzzzZZZZZzz... Boring!
If the universe did give everyone the powers that they asked for, there wouldn't be enough variety. Everybody would be doing the same damn things. I just wanna be here sitting watching everyone break the laws of physics the same way as his next door neighboor and his next door neighbor. Nope that just won't do. Think about this... What if the universe did decide to give us one ability or one superpower? Although it's not as mainstream as the ones We got in the movies. I'm pretty sure everyone would accept. I mean, I know I would use next door ability.
SUPER FAKE CORPSE ABILITIES!
How about the power to play dead?
Hear me out. It's gonne be really cool. Imagine through sheer will you could stop your heart, you could stop your breathing, and you could go all clammy. And you know if you level up and off, you can take a little bit further and you can decide if you wanna look like you have been dead for a month with matching summoned maggots and flies. Do not make fun of this ability though as this could be a lot of fun.
1. You can scare the crap out of people
2. You can experience your own funeral with matching ego boost because you will find out how people will really feel about you
3. Have yourself confined in a hospital and then pretend you are dead once a nurse comes to check in on you or
4. Convince people you are a zombie
Now not only can this ability could be fun. It can be useful too. Let's say you are wanted and someone is going to kill you, right? You can play dead and he's gonna be "god dammit, I'm too late". And once he's gone, you gonna be like... "I fooled you".
How about the power to cook the perfect dish every single time without even trying?
Oh god. This would be awesome! Just imagine like you would have no cooking experience whatsoever and yet you will always manage to massacre every single iron chef, asian or american in the iron chef kitchen (the cycle chairmain included). You gonna end up being in demand. You will end up cooking for politicians, celebrities, hotshot executives. You could even charge like 2,000 pesos for your chicken tenders because they are just that good. You are going to be rich and famous. And your friends and entire family is going to be comprised of happy fat people.
Now this one is gonna be awesome
How about if you have the power to fall asleep exactly when you want and how long you want.
And then when you wake up you won't feel crappy at all. Through sheer will power, you can fall asleep at exactly 10 PM and wake up 5 AM bright and early the next morning. There would be no need for SNOOZE button. There would be no need to say "one more minute" thirty times. And this is what I like the most, there's gonna be no more of that internal conflict every night. Now if you already have this anti-snooze button ability, this next power will go well with it.
SUPER GETTING READY POWERS
The power to get dressed and made up in a snap.
Remember Sabrina, the teenage witch? Ahhh I'm so jealous. Guys, girls... It doesn't matter. Who would not want that? Your friends would also think you have supernatural punctuality too because you are gonne be early for everything. Now this one is not really a superpower per se, but I would just love to have this. I thought about this probably since I was in grade school and until now I still pretty much want it.
MAGIC MONEY MAONG!
What if you own a pair a magical jeans that produces the exact amount of money at the right moment when you need it.
Need to buy a shirt? Reach in to your jeans and automatically pull out seven hundred ninty nine pesos and fifty cents (Php 799.50).
How about that poor kid selling sampaguita in the rain knocking on your car window. No problem! Just reach in to your pants pocket an automatically pull out ten pesos (Php 10.00). And you take that sampaguita and hang it around on your rear view mirror as a reminder that you were a kind person. Hahaha. I am ten pesos closer to heaven.
You need to pay the poor dude or the security guard who helped you back out of your parking slot? No problem, your magic pants are gonna adjust to you. It's gonna produce ten pesos (Php 10.00) on the average and five pesos (Php 5.00) if you are kuripot.
At mass, and it's time for the offertory, don't sweat it coz your pants are gonna adjust to you again. A hundred bucks for the average catholic, fifty bucks if you are an atheist and you are just there to please your parents, or it won't bother producing any money at all because there is just no hope saving your damn soul.
SUPER INSTANT O POWERS!
And lastly, how about the power to give instant orgasms.
Aarrghhh! It's gonna be EPIC!
Like you could be bored in class, just point your finger at your teacher and BAM! Watch the glory!
You can give as many orgasms you want. You can make it last as long as your mercy and generosity lasts.
Make that annoying pervert at the bar jizz in his pants. Is your man or woman asking for some action but you are just too tired or busy or he or she is too ugly to bang? Give them a big "O" to shut them up.
Now this is for when you bought too many sampaguitas already with your magic pants. If you are feeling a little bit too saintly, you can go inside a convent or a seminary and unleash your power there. BOOOOM!!! Aim your powers at a very large group of people, preferably those who were lobbying or rallying for something. That would be awesome! BOOOM!!! and watch the destruction! Like you know that scene in Bruce Willis' movie, The Surrogates, when all the bots are just walking in the streets and they just collapse to the ground at the same time? Yeah, imagine that plus screaming and writhing. Ah! It's gonna be glorious! EPIC!
Hell, you can even earn money with this orgasm giving ability. You can offer your services to jail houses. Oh oh, and I just thought of this... this can be particularly useful if a rapist is after you. Like I can just imagine while a rapist is chasing a girl, the girl is going to point her finger to him and BOOM! Then he is gonna jizz in his pants and he's gonne be like "oh shit" and im gonna be like "haha, di mo na ako kelangan, bye". And you can actually be a villain with this power. I mean I'm thinking that if you give someone who is not physically adept to handle too much pleasure, you can end up killing them. Although I think dying from an orgasm would be an awesome way to go.
And there you have it. That's about all of the unusual powers that I'm thinking people could have.
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